Valentines, sh-malentines con't

We want you're opinion. But only if its positive.

Not really - be honest, because lets face it, if people were all sweetness and light all the time it would be quite difficult to to take anyones opinion seriously. 

We've got fortune cookies with pick-up lines (bad ones obviously), lonely bubbles and a sappy scholastic heart. 

Like the classics? Shop them here: 


Who doesn't love balloons?

Whether it's indifference, thundering hatred or an accidental pregnancy - there's a balloon card for the occasion.* 

For an astronomical fee these babies can be customizable. Imagine: "you're the worst, Kevin." "whatever Tiffany." or simply "crap". 

*cards are not yet pictured on site. if you wish to order just send me an email or a personal note with your order. Same pricing applies for below designs. 

Let's be honest.

In two short weeks you better have something to pull out of your ass at the 11th hour.

Mom: Sure she changed your soiled pampers and loves you unconditionally - but when push comes to Mother's Day those nostalgic tidbits get swept under the rug (just like the dust bunnies you were supposed to sweep up back in 1988). So in the spirit of being a sub-par child, stick to what you do best - the bare minimum. 

New Mother's Day card. It smacks of thoughtlessness and is 100% available - email@sayitwithsarcasm for deets. A sweeter Mother's Day card can be purchased here: