The cookie that Maca-ruined everything.

Right up there withe red velvet anything are the insipid little sugar patties called macaron. Extraordinarily laborious to construct, they are maybe the most overrated (and over-instagrammed) cookie of all time. 

My biggest grievance however isn't with the confections inane colors and horrific flavors. It's the people that call them macaroons. Macaroons are simple and delicious. Macaron are the exact opposite.  Their great great great great great grandfather's may have been the same. But macaroons and macarons are bastard cousins at best. 

suck it up buttercup

The most dreaded day of the year is tomorrow people - whether you're the ill-prepared half of a doomed couple or just your average clueless twat; Valentine's Day is what nightmares are made of. Scrap the sentimentality, valentine cards aren't just for the ones you call Chipmunk - they're also for your embittered single friends. Tell them you "don't give a rat's ass" with a gentle reminder that they're alone, and if they keep up their whining they always will be.