Girl? Boy? Who gives a shit.

I'm going to preface this post by saying I'm a huge bitch. To many of you this comes as no surprise. 

So let's get down to business. Babies: They all look alike. And by that I mean - unless a parent is dressing them a deliberate way, it's incredibly difficult to tell the gender of an infant. But who the hell cares anyway? 

Specifically with baby girls, it seems parents (and I'm guessing it's primarily mothers) are infuriated when people mistake their girls for boys. When a full pink ensemble just won't do - Enter: god-awful headbands. Glorified elastics adorned with butterflies, flowers and shame, these ridiculous things are suffocating tiny craniums in order to distinguish that yes, this pooping, gurgling blob is in fact a girl. 

Now that you know my stand on baby accessories I can tell you that I recently I got the best gift ever. It was by way of text and in the shape of a blurry photograph. 

My issues with this poster:

1. Headbands should be outlawed to begin with. They're just plain dumb. 

2.  I find the sentimental value statement mildly dubious. The blankie I've had since birth has sentimental value. It's 40 years old, made by my godmother and an entire corner has been nibbled away. This is a headband belonging to a child who by the looks of it is, I don't know 8 months old? 

3. Horribly misleading phrasing. MISSING punctuated by baby pictures. The word LOST may have been more appropriate. Also maybe only one cropped image of JUST the headband. 

4. What's the reward? I shudder to think. 

Told you. HUGE bitch.