To Catch a Thief

I just love it when a man smacks an hysterical broad to shut her up. Ahhhhhh the 50’s. The era that time forgot. Which Brings me to my first Film Review.

Cary Grant plays John Robbie. He sports a tan that would make George Hamilton jealous, and appears suave yet casual in an exceedingly French get-up. (curently avialable at LARK on Main st.) John Robbie is an exquisitely refined American (so much so that he affects an accent of indeterminate origins. English? Upper West Side? Who can say?) who has begrudgingly retired from cat burglary and finds himself leading an agreeable, albeit sleepy lifestyle on the French Riviera. Cannes in particular. Cannes, where sunglasses are necessary well after the hour of 8:30 pm.

Life becomes less hum drum when the ‘cat burglar’ after years of being dormant, strikes again. JR is the obvious suspect. Enter smart-alec meddling American heiress, in the form of Grace “I’m impossibly Attractive” Kelly.

Through a chance deliberate encounter John Robbie becomes easily and quickly acquainted with heiress Francie Stevens and her chaperone/come mother, presumably, Mrs. Stevens. Naturally over a few gallons of Champagne there brews an immediate chemistry slash tension between Mr. Robbie and Miss Stevens, despite the 20 year age gap. The three of them make a lovely couple. Him, her and her battalion of diamonds. A ‘retired’ thief meets a blasé, careless heiress? What could possibly go wrong? Four minutes later, their first kiss is accompanied by a text book fireworks montage, as the ‘explosions’ get bigger, brighter and more elaborate, Miss Stevens finds herself that much closer to smittendom.

With some feeble plot getting in the way of the real story, which is Cary Grant and Grace Kelly making babies, We find ourselves watching what turns into more than a game of cat and mouse but a murder mystery. * foreboding music * The underlying theme being diamonds, like a moth to a flame.

Conveniently there is an enormous costume party being thrown in a gruesome villa on the Riviera this season. And even more conveniently 80% of the ‘Who’s Who List of 1955 will be in attendance, no doubt dripping in jewels. What cat {burglar} could possibly resist cream like that? Insert gratuitous flouncey evening gown scene. Fifteen minutes later, cut to the long awaited chase scene. John Robbie clumsily leaps across roof top’s laid with predictably slippery and loose terra-cotta tiles, in hot pursuit of what may or may not be the real cat burglar. . . . . . shots are fired . . . . . . it’s touch and go . . . . . . . what will happen next!?

Oh Mr. Hitchcock, the webs you weave……