Following my latest viewing of “the core” I got all nostalgic. As well considering Mother Natures recent fussiness in Samoa, I figure there's no time like the present to address my entirely rational fears.

After calculating the formulaic ingredients when baking an epic natural disaster film, I took a genuine interest in probability and scrounged up some actual facts and figures re: The West Coast.

What you need to know:

Getting earthquake ready? Do you have visions of impending doom? Visions of film classics such as the the Day After Tomorrow and Armageddon dancing in your head? If you answered yes to any of these feeble questions you’re in luck. Brace yourself for a natural disaster reminiscent of Indonesia 2005. Vancouver Island is scheduled for a revamp. A revamp that involves being wiped clean off the planet. Time for my dear Islanders to head for higher ground.

According to my sources the West Coast is slated for a gargantuan quake of devastating proportions. If I’ve got this straight, the Juan de Fuca and Cascadia plates are experiencing some growing pains. These pains are manifesting themselves in tremors (see: Kevin Bacon filmography IMDB about 300 fathoms * deep off the coast of Vancouver Island. Hollywood lives for this crap. In fact, come to think of it I’m a little surprised there hasn’t been a film produced called “Boxing Day Blues: December 26th”. Ack.

At any rate, earth is getting restless and not a bit cranky. And we are going to be the lucky recipients of a 9 point something on the Richter scale. Good ol’ Richter. I didn’t think earthquakes were detectable, but apparently seismography has advanced leaps and bounds since the 1984 National Geographic I nosed through. Now is the time to stock up on canned goods and start filling pots with water.

Seriously though. The stats are less than alarming. Out of six of the largest quakes to hit BC only five of those quakes (spanning 100 years and ranging in magnitude from 7.1 to 9.0) maybe four people died in direct correlation to the disaster, one of those died in Seattle due to a heart attack. These facts should comfort you. Hopefully your fear has subsided and instead been replaced by panic as you bob hopelessly over what was the Empress Hotel.

* A fathom is a unit of length in the Imperial system (and the derived U.S. customary units), used especially for measuring the depth of water.

There are 2 yards (6 feet) in a fathom